Post Love

I left my wife three years ago.
I write about the women that fill up the void.

Post Love Forty Two

Celine had found me on facebook by next morning. We started to talk. Her english and my french made for some amusing, confusing conversation, so I asked her to be my french tutor. She accepted. I invited her over a few nights later for a joint and a french class. We kissed on the couch soon after she got there. We got high, laughed at eachothers terrible languages, kissed more, and I caught myself liking her through the erratic mess. She was cute, she was funny, she was sassy, she pushed me when I went too far, though the borders of her morality were not well defined, my hands conquering new territory constantly until she fought back in our battle of the anglos and the francos, feuding like a wave, and when it ebbed we smoked more, and made our peace. Then she stared out in front of her, and I stared at her profile, realizing how beautiful she was. I kissed her cheek, waited til she turned her head, then kissed her lips. This was it. I wanted her. My hands moved from her legs to her thighs, leaning into the kiss more, and then she pushed me again. Harder this time. Is this why I’m here? To fuck? Is that all it is? 

I knew better than to answer her, and instead I told her I just wanted to kiss her. I ignored how incredibly stupid her question was, and the very idea behind her question, and I kissed her again. This little game went on until it was  shattered by the doorbell. Nerves and guilt shot through her eyes as I got up and headed for the door. It was one of my drunk friends. I talked to him through the crack of the door as Celine tip toed into my bedroom. And so I was saved by the bell, much like the entire encounter, as if some invisible force guided everything along to my liking. I wished my friend a good night, turned off the lights, grabbed the roach, and went into my room. We smoked in dim lights and kissed, and so it continued until we were both hazy and tired and realized it was two in the morning. Can I sleep here? It needed no answer. We got under the covers, by now seeking the warmth and coziness of eachothers bodies more than anything else. We kissed more, and I felt her up more, but she pushed me away any time I went too far. Soon enough we were just cuddling, and then we were asleep.

I can’t remember who woke up who in the middle of the night, that’s how gentle and natural it was to be kissing again, caressing again, I was trying again, still high, she let me go further this time, she didn’t stop me, I went further up her inner thighs with my hand, I pinched to see if she’d stop me then, there was nothing but legs ever so slightly spread, my hand spreading them with no resistance on her part, I had not been expecting this to happen. What did I know? This girl wanted to fuck. 

I started to rub her through her panties, harder and harder, kissing her hard, groping her tits through her shirt, letting her know that I wanted it off, she obliged and laid there tenderly naked, nervous and expectant, maybe her guilt had already set in, poor boyfriend back home, I sucked on her nipples and felt up her tits, so young and firm, nice handfuls of smalltown Quebec, she laid there and let me do what I wanted. In my stoned haze I got lost feeling her up and snapped out of it when I realized she was not reciprocating. She seemed to be waiting. I remembered I’d been this far with women and still gotten denied, and this sudden realization made me nervous, made the marijuana gaze turn mildly paranoid, I got up in a rush grabbing a rubber, put it on knowing this girl could change her mind at any time, crazy thing, and only when I realized she was still waiting I really knew we were going to fuck. I got on the bed between her legs, picked them up on my shoulders, I moved closer and stuck my dick in her, pushed it in all the way. She moaned. Maybe she was expecting something gentle. I was in a rush. I wanted to fuck her. I was looking at her pretty face, her blue eyes and her perfect young tits as I banged myself into her supple thighs. She was built to take it all, she laid there getting fucked and it drove me insane, seeing that slight indifference to getting banged that some women display, a strangely invigorating kink stirring the dark depths of my appetites, I felt vulnerable fucking her, I felt disconnected from her, I felt myself starting to cum, losing myself in her, I shot my load into her right then and there, a handful of minutes into our first position.

That hadn’t happened in ages, and here I was, back on top of the world, orgasming into this young cheating groupie a full decade younger than me, oh glorious scumbag champion of the night, she started to giggle as I slowly collapsed onto her, rested my head next to hers, drained and empty, I felt my heart pounding as I rolled over onto my back to catch my breath. My chest heaved as she rolled over on her side and put her arm around me. And that was it. We dozed off, rested our heads for a few hours and went our separate ways.

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