May 2012
1 post
“It has been suggested that fellatio may, through “immune...”
– wikipedia
April 2012
1 post
October 2011
1 post
“One fine day you decide to talk less and less about the things you care most...”
– Louis-Ferdinand Celine
September 2011
1 post
“Whether or not the things you write about have actually happened, they’re more...”
– fan mail
July 2011
4 posts
Post Love Fifty One
It was really pouring that morning. She ran into the bus stop where I was hiding from the downpour, stood there for a moment hiding her panting, and in need of relaxation pulled out a cigarette from her bag. She glanced at me, hesitated, and stepped back into the rain to smoke under a small black umbrella. She was all in black. Black tights, black jacket, black curly hair. She wasn’t my type...
“Love comes close
But chooses to spare me
Death comes close
But ceases to take...”
– Wes Eisold
Post Love Fifty
I first met Patricia in the days I still liked Allison. They were best friends, those two and Carmen, three tall tattooed women you couldn’t miss, an inseparable drunken trio I spent a few nights with when I was chasing after Allison. Once it had been established that Allison and I weren’t happening, Patricia and Carmen moved in on me like vultures. The first time that came to light...
Intermission Twenty One
I was spending some time with some New Yorkers a while ago, a group of friends who’d taken me in for the weekend and took me around the city like one of their own. On our first night, still getting to know some of the group, I took note of an inside joke revolving around two people I was drinking with. Warren, a boyish looking fellow, had shown up an hour late for a date with Megan, a tall...
June 2011
5 posts
A Fiction Project Worth Supporting →
drunken-soberness:
I wish I had more time to read. There are so many good writers out there who string words together like Christmas lights – tangled and messy sometimes but always beautiful and edifying. There are a lot of shitty writers out there, too. It’s actually easier to find the pretentious, untalented wanna-be’s than it is to find the ones that have promise. But when you find the...
Post Love Forty Nine
Jill had drunk texted it to me once before. I want to fuck. I had gotten out of it then. But this time around, she played it smart. She sent it to me late on a friday night, knowing the increased chances of me being drunk would help her cause. She practically begged me. I had smoked joints all night long, taken shot after shot, text after text, knowing she didn’t live too far from the bar. I...
Post Love Forty Eight
I had gotten an insider tip. An art collective based in a loft down the street was having a sale. First come, first serve. I got up early saturday morning, for once, and walked over. I could see two people making their way towards the building from the other end of the street. I sped up. They did too, but I got there first. I scrambled around trying to find the elevator in this old deserted office...
Post Love Forty Seven
There had been tension between Andrea and I from the get go. We seemed to bring something out in eachother that no one else in the room could. It was clear we both felt it, but at the time, that’s all it was. I didn’t think much of it. She was eighteen and dating Alex, a friend of a friend. I’d see her around every few weeks, always brief, always leaving a sense of something more...
“Ferdinand”, he said. “I recognized you right away. By the way you...”
– Louis-Ferdinand Céline
April 2011
1 post
thelifeofsabi asked: You Said: "I told myself, let’s just say that love actually is a drug. That way, my current post-love life would be… rehab. And honestly, that’s pretty much what it is... I don’t believe in drugs, and I don’t believe in love. They don’t last. You come down from them, and you crash."
After three years does this thought still cross your...
After three years does this thought still cross your...
March 2011
9 posts
Post Love Forty Six
There was only Jill now. Jill was happy pleasuring me. She’d become my go-to girl. I’d end up in her room late at night, drunk and desperate, sneaking in to accept simple pleasures when all else had become too complicated. I’d gone to see her after Celine, after Esther, after Mahin. Before I knew it, my birthday had crept up, so I went to see her for that as well.
I was sick at...
“This whole tradition – the idea that women need be preserved in glass so as not...”
– Kerry Howley, in Thoughts on Thoughts on Spitzer on reason.com via furrygirl@ feminisnt. (via m1nou)
Post Love Forty Five
There’s only one place to turn once you’ve hit rock bottom. Back to square one. The dating site. Except this time around, I didn’t bother trying my luck. I was too far down. Instead, I did the opposite. I made the most obnoxious profile I could muster up, and amused myself with the endlessly annoying and creepy messages I’d send out. I’d pretend I had the girl...
“My body is a cage that keeps me
From dancing with the one I love
But my mind...”
Post Love Forty Four
There was a certain ease with which Esther drifted in and out of my life. It was so because I let her. There was no resistance from my end. I was hopelessly in love with her. I couldn’t reject her. I fell for it again a few weeks after the last time I saw her. She happened to reply to a message one night. She said she’d just gotten off the phone with her ex. We started talking about...
tinatherockstar asked: I can really relate to your Celine story. Sometimes things like that, where you're sort of friends but sort of sleeping together, are so confusing. You never know what gestures are okay, what is too much or what is too cold. Not sure if that's exactly how you felt, but that's how it seemed to me.
Post Love Forty Three
I kept in touch with Celine. She was fun. Part of me started to think that maybe she was what I needed, for a while. Nothing too difficult or serious. Just a simple enjoyment of eachother. It was easy for us to get along. We made eachother laugh, liked the same surface things, had some of the same friends but not too many. I asked Celine if she wanted to hang out again. She said yes immediately....
February 2011
7 posts
tinatherockstar asked: "I’m not here to please, I am here to be truthful. There are ugly truths here because those are the ones that matter most."
The beautiful ones matter just as much, don't forget that. I read everything you write here and I think it's silly to unfollow someone because they have ceased to be entertaining. This is a blog about your life and feelings, of course...
The beautiful ones matter just as much, don't forget that. I read everything you write here and I think it's silly to unfollow someone because they have ceased to be entertaining. This is a blog about your life and feelings, of course...
-ellipsis asked: I have read every post and I still enjoy reading them whether you come off as a jerk or not. I respect you for including every thought, every action, every detail. Keep posting, please!
What did I do now?
fablesinafreeworld:
postlove:
I keep losing followers and I have no idea why.
Possibly because you’re coming off as more jerk then a person who is full of various shades of humanity and it’s potential experiences.
I actually tried pimping you to friends of mine and they went off at me for it. Both the men and the woman. Of course they only read the last few months and not the earlier...
What did I do now?
I keep losing followers and I have no idea why.
One Year Ago Tonight
Reblog this if you no longer speak to the person you spent this night with last year.
Post Love Forty Two
Celine had found me on facebook by next morning. We started to talk. Her english and my french made for some amusing, confusing conversation, so I asked her to be my french tutor. She accepted. I invited her over a few nights later for a joint and a french class. We kissed on the couch soon after she got there. We got high, laughed at eachothers terrible languages, kissed more, and I caught myself...
Post Love Forty One
The best nights are the free, the open ended, the spontaneous nights where anything can happen. The first nights of spring where things come to life and people go outside again, there’s warmth and light and friends meeting in parks for beers and joints, sitting by water, trees and grass and rocks, park lights in the dark, there’s close friends and their friends, and everyone gets...
January 2011
3 posts
Recommend me and I'll finish writing my next entry... →
Post Love Forty
The easiest way to have sex back home was to pick up where I had left off. Jill had let me fuck her tits, and I knew she wasn’t done with me yet. I knew I could get more. A few days after my jet lag, I ran into her at the bar. She knew I’d be there. She was showing cleavage. She had shown up drunker than me, messier than me, more determined than me. I was still in limbo. I knew I could...
“I go to bakeries all day long. There’s a lack of sweetness in my life.”
– Jonathan Richman
December 2010
4 posts
Post Love Thirty Nine
There is something about the phallic shaped objects we cram ourselves into, like the semen we once were, all waiting to explode into the world and be someone. We cram ourselves into buses, subways, trains, aeroplanes over the seas, travelling set routes in routine, some sort of sick anticlimactic orgasm where pleasure comes only from discomfort ending, an unpleasant ride we have to take in order...
“Misogyny, definitely. Self-loathing, absolutely. Romance, non-existent. But it...”
– fan mail
Post Love Thirty Eight
Work, work, work, what do you expect from me when I’m done with it? The more you push your boundaries, the more they push back. Like anyone with a job, I find foolish pride in balancing it out. I fall back on braindead mottos like work hard, play hard. I dumb myself down, then try to revive the parts of myself I strangled to get through the day. I worked all day in that tiny town and went...
“It wasn’t dirty, but cleansing to see such a crisp outlook on women and...”
– fan mail
November 2010
2 posts
Intermission Twenty
I wrote something for the first girl I ever liked. I don’t know what made me write, or what I wrote. But I know that I never had any intention of giving it to her. It was just a simple expression of a new feeling. I was twelve and I didn’t understand anything yet. I just had to get it out.
My best friend Tom laughed at me when he found it in my room. Tom was an obese rich kid, and I...
Post Love Thirty Seven
There is only way I wake up in a new city after I’ve spent all night exploring it, finding my adventures in it, going to sleep feeling accomplished and envigorated in it. I wake up dissappointed. New cities get me drunk, new cities give me hangovers, new cities are the best and the worst places on earth. To see the same streets again in daylight, with all its’ ordinary people walking...
October 2010
7 posts
Single ladies....
pearlichell:
Flirting Tips Women are so much more subtle about flirting clues that men need to really pay attention. Ladies, men are not used to women flirting with them. An overwhelming majority of men said they would just love it if a woman would talk to them first or at least express a larger clue that you were interested in checking them out. #1: Repeated contact… at least three separate...
breannajai asked: You update maybe once every two weeks and yet you ask to be recommended like every Tuesday. Fuck that. Write something mind blowingly good, then maybe you can be a pretentious fuck and ask to be recommended. Until then, shut up.
“Beautiful in a grotesque kind of way… filthy and uncomfortably enjoyable.”
– fan
Post Love Thirty Six
Sometimes the drudgery does reward your sacrifice. Sometimes they send you on a business trip to Amsterdam, and you instantly dismiss your duties in the foreign land as a new agenda blossoms inside of you. Possibilities. You haven’t been to Europe since your young days, cruising the land with friends in the back of a van. Oh, those were good days. But they’re gone now. Those people are...
“I’m wondering what it is about you that makes unattainable women so drawn...”
– fanmail
“We need to make books cool again. If you go home with somebody and they...”
– John Waters
“Love is like the Easter Bunny: You believe in it when you’re young. Then...”
September 2010
4 posts
“I cannot love as I have loved, And yet I know not why; It is the one great woe...”
Post Love Thirty Five
It was Giseles’ last night in town. She had finished her Masters’ and was moving back home to start a career of some kind. She was a friend of Esthers’ that I’d met about a year prior to her departure. She was hard to miss. A six foot tall brazilian model that dressed like a vietnam vet in her spare time. Her big burning brown eyes had glanced at me across the room a few...
Post Love Thirty Four
I didn’t see Mary for two or three months after our Valentine’s encounter. It was to be expected. She had ventured too deep into things and retreated completely. I tried to stay in touch, but it was painful. She was distant. She was busy. Eventually, she agreed to meet up with me for dinner. Ofcourse, Mary was a scatterbrain, a confused mess of a girl incapable of planning anything,...